2011 and all that

Taipei Municipal Arena

Chatting to an American guy last week, I was once again informed of the lack of interest in "soccer" in Taiwan. "Yeah, it's right up there with fucking your dog in the sporting popularity stakes". Rather a disappointing revelation as, although I'm quite unaccustomed to canine copulation, I shouldn't imagine it being something to shout about.

Last night, Taiwan's U23 Olympic team played the 2nd leg of a pre-qualifier against the mighty Kingdom of Jordan. Sometimes a lack of popularity has advantages. I joined a bumper crowd of 1500, (yes, one thousand, five hundred) in rattling around a shiny new stadium with a capacity of 20,000 or so. Tickets were free and the lack of revenue meant there was no security. The crowd wandered in with their own booze from the 7Eleven and whatever food they wanted.

Unfortunately for the Taiwanese players, this lack of revenue also means no money for them. They have to pay their own way, including shelling out for their badly-dyed footballer's haircuts, by the looks of things.

The match itself is difficult to describe without being patronising or prejudiced. And, since there are countless professional hacks working for big red newspapers who wouldn't be troubled by any such concerns, I'll join them in doing the easy thing.

The Jordanians were big fellas, in comparison to our diminuitive Taiwanese team. And the lack of any kind of "big number 9" for Taiwan meant they just couldn't make the ball stick for any period of time. Jordan, on the other hand, had two quick, strong units up front and won countless fouls on the counter attack.

Jordan's gameplan was tracksuit manager #101 stuff, really. Win free kicks, load the opposition penalty area with their big athletes, dolly the ball up on the edge of the area and watch the mayhem ensue. Needless to say, it worked a treat. Taiwan finished on the wrong end of a 2-0 defeat and looked pretty dejected by the end.

There was, however, a refreshing lack of booing from the home fans, and a paucity of glum faces - a welcome change to the aftermath of a home defeat at White Hart Lane.

A final highlight upon filing out, 10 Jordanian lads chanting "Jordan, Jordan, Jordan" caused first bewilderment in the Taiwanese fans, followed by a couple of wise-guys shouting back "yeah, Michael Jordan! Slam dunk! Chicago Bulls!".

Met with such a gloriously irreverent response, the visiting fans' swagger was taken out of their step rather. After all, it's difficult to be too exultant when you've just fucked your dog - no matter how well you did it.