Glamorama

The only way to recover from a full stack. Pretend you're breakdancing.

Ice cream cone haircuts, traffic cone bras, clown-face make up - I saw it all on Sunday. The po-faced world of the high-fashion catwalk is a constant source of material for the tabloids. Some catwalk shows are about art rather than functional clothes, but the red tops mock them regardless. Hiding behind artistic license doesn't justify all the pretentiousness, though. A healthy dose of self awareness would go down well for all concerned. 

Both sides of the coin kept me entertained during the less interesting moments of Shih Chien University's Graduate Fashion Show. Those moments were few and far between, however. Some of you may be shocked to find that I thoroughly enjoyed watching a relentless procession of beautiful women saunter in front of four unimpressed judges. Others know that I own an America's Next Top Model pencil case, so you won't be surprised at all.

If you're the model, the lack of dignity in wearing orthopedic shoes and a dress made from a giant Meccano set is self evident. For the audience, the pleasure in watching is equally obvious. It's reminiscent of early rounds of The X Factor - car crash viewing at its best (Will she fall over in those preposterous shoes? Will the music cut out and leave one lost soul standing alone in a concrete courtyard - fear in their eyes?). Moments like this remind me that "saying yes to stuff" (and having a girlfriend who's a graduate of Shih Chien) gets you into all sorts of fun situations.

Prior to arriving, I was a little worried I'd get bored during the show. In the event, the assortment of unfinished works and amateurish displays meant Jen was bored long before I, and she dragged me to Shilin Market for some retail therapy. It would seem that balsa-wood shoes and hats made of cocktail sticks were a less enduring distraction for her than a new pair of Converse trainers. My adventures in high fashion are over - for now...